Thanks to a Barely-There Skirt

February 23, 2010 at 10:48 pm 10 comments

“She was asking for it.” How often do we women cringe in disgust at the sight or sound of that phrase?

Generally, it is used by a male rapist in his defense. For the longest time, I considered this statement to be one of the most blatant expressions of how inconsiderate, selfish, rude, cruel, and appalling (some!) men can be. Until recently, when I began to ponder this “defense” a bit more.

Now don’t get me wrong ladies. I haven’t abandoned you; I’m not a traitor. I still believe there are a lot of men out there who use this statement as a pathetic and delusional excuse for their abhorrent behaviour. And by no means do I think it is ever okay for a person to rape somebody for any reason, let alone because he/she was “asking for it”.

However, what I have come to stand by is the notion that we women need to be very aware of the image we are portraying to the world. When you walk out of the house, what does everyone else see?

It takes 30 seconds to make a first impression and more than 50% of that first impression is visual. Think about it. After 30 seconds of looking, what will other people think of you?

To me, this kind of stuff is common sense, and yet I see girls and women attracting what I consider to be the wrong kind of attention all the time. It seems that “common sense” is really a rare and precious commodity.

I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going through a girl’s mind when I see her strutting her stuff in a dress that just manages to hang over her cheeks (no, not the ones on her face). Or when 13-year-olds turn up at school with a skirt well above the regulation length (to the knee) and with slutty shades of eyeshadow caked on their lids. I suppose these girls are “looking for attention in the way that seems easiest because they’re missing something at home” and all that jazz. And while I’m sure their parents are largely to blame for their risque attire and aloof attitude, I do not believe they suffice as a complete excuse. There are plenty of people out there who come from bad backgrounds and are actually exemplary individuals. These girls need to get it into their heads that attention (and good attention for that matter) can be achieved via many other, better methods.

Now just to reel myself in a little, as this is a topic I can discuss for hours, let me get back to the main theme at hand: “She was asking for it.” First of all, to those who’ve got the common sense down pat, congrats. But I feel I must address those who haven’t quite got it yet.

Ladies, when you wear a micro, micro, micro miniskirt and push up all the cleavage you can muster, how can you expect to not be noticed by every straight man with a beating heart who walks by?

And if while waiting for a bus you grab a stop sign’s pole as if you’re about to slide down it, what kind of impression do you think people are going to make?

And what do you expect people’s perceptions to be when you lean on a wall like a hooker?

You have got to understand that not every guy out there is kind and sweet and genuinely interested in your personality. And at any rate, how can anyone be interested in your personality when all you do is exhibit your assets?

And rapists?! I mean, they’re getting to be all over the bloody place now! They target people who look like they’re unaware of themselves and their surroundings. Dressing like a ditzy slut makes you look unaware. (Yes, I know that rape is usually an act of violence as opposed to a sexual one, but this isn’t always the case.)

I see these girls in ridiculous outfits all the time, and I think they really need to get their act together. They wear these clothes and have too-flirty attitudes. They don’t understand the implications of leading a man on. If they’re not careful, something awful is going to happen to them, and it’ll all be thanks to a barely-there skirt.


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10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Paolo  |  February 24, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Impressive read, grasshopper, yes.

    • 2. sarahmunn  |  February 24, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      Thank you, Paolo. =)

  • 3. Christine Morrison  |  February 26, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Really good piece Sarah!

    • 4. sarahmunn  |  February 26, 2010 at 11:15 am

      Hey, thanks! Glad you guys like it. Unbelievable, some of the girls here!

  • 5. shichitenhakki  |  February 26, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    Technically, it’s a case of false advertising. All of the potential buyers (men) will look – can’t help it (it’s a lovely sight). Some have the self discipline to keep on walking. Some will give ‘attention’ – the wrong kind – and be frustrated that the goods are not really on offer. And a part of that group will get mad.

    It’s an ugly situation all round. I don’t think very many people would advocate the burqua as a solution. But being conscious of the signals you are sending when you dress is surely showing a comparable self discipline that responsible men must show when they refrain from propositioning every potential woman they meet.

    Nice post. Thanks for your thoughts.

    • 6. sarahmunn  |  February 27, 2010 at 7:04 pm

      Thanks for your comments!
      I think you’re right about false advertising, most of the time. Unfortunately, sometimes these girls are actually willing to offer the product they’re advertising, when they really shouldn’t be at such a young age. Adult women do it too, which I guess is their prerogative, but it’s the underage girls that really trouble me.
      And yes, being conscious about the signals you send out is definitely important. I think it’s really the only way to deal with this “ugly situation”. Respectable, responsible men will respect that in a woman. In my experience, it seems that the men who proposition these women all the time, are the guys who aren’t respectable or polite. Those who are, (the kind of guys that most women are looking for!) will more than likely look at a woman who “advertises”, but they will not be all that interested in pursuing her. They will consider it distasteful and will be more interested in a woman they can respect.

      Glad you liked the post! Thanks a lot. =)

  • 7. Tracy George  |  February 27, 2010 at 12:48 am

    Love your spin on this topic, my husband would agree with you 100% but I don’t know…. You’ve been to Margarita, not much different from here and when you go to other Latin American countries Ay Dios Mio. Cultural differences? Inhibitions not an issue? Modesty overrated? This is the beauty of being a modern woman, we have the freedom to express ourselves as we wish no?

    • 8. sarahmunn  |  February 27, 2010 at 7:11 pm

      I think if you are an adult woman, then it is your prerogative to dress how you want, whether conservative, sexy, sophisticated, or slutty. And I guess we all like to express ourselves once in a while, and dress in a way that feels all feminine and sexy – and that’s fine.
      My real problem is the teenage girls though. When they’re “advertising” just for attention, and then they get into trouble. Or, when they’re “advertising” and they’re actually selling!
      I respect your point of view though. =)
      Thanks for your comment. Glad my piece has sparked discussion!

  • 9. Maralyn  |  March 7, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    I liked this post. It’s sad that too many girls out there don’t know what they’re doing. If only more dads had the guts and courage to talk to their daughters…

    • 10. sarahmunn  |  March 8, 2010 at 8:11 am

      Hi Maralyn,
      Thanks for all your comments on my blog. I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing.
      And I agree with you, I think the father figure (or lack thereof) issue is a major contributor to this problem with young girls.


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